How To Foil An Alien Abduction
How to react if Abducted by Aliens
1. DO NOT RESIST – Resistance is Futile – These guys crossed the interstellar void. Do you think you can just go for the vulnerable spots like eyes or throat? Forget about it!
2. DON’T PANIC – Take the advice of cover of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” Panic will not help. Remain calm.
3. CONTROL THOUGHTS Depending on what type of aliens you are picked up by, they may be able to read minds. Try not to think of things like “well, I guess you want to probe me.”
4. ASK POLITELY – Ask the ET to kindly leave you alone. Try if with me, “Can I put on my pants and leave?”
5. TRY RUNNING – Try to run. Of course if the space ship has left earth this may be dangerous. Don’t jump out an air-lock. That won’t help at all.
6. COMPUTER VIRUS – If the movie Independence Day taught us anything it is that Aliens have no firewalls. Just power up your trusty Mac, create a computer virus and upload. You will be home before you can say “What just happened in this movie.”
7. CRY – If all else fails, just cry. The LGM (Little Green Men) may be sympathetic or confused enough to just let you go.